BEST WORST MOVIE (2009)

PLOT

Michael Stephenson, the kid from TROLL 2 aka the “Best worst movie” ever made, presents this documentary on the film that became the hallmark for the worst and smelliest of cinematic shit

REVIEW

Have you ever walked down the street and seen a dog squeeze out a steaming pile on the sidewalk? It's disgusting to even read it, but there's high probability that you'd probably find it funny to watch, and even if you didn't surely there's plenty of others who would. Now, imagine taking that turd and polishing it to the point where people fall in love it and gradually becomes subject to idolatry

That's TROLL 2

A movie so fucking bad, that back in the early 90's when I came into possession of an original pristine vhs copy, I was so overwhelmed by how putrid it was that I taped over it with episodes of THE SIMPSONS and threw the box in the garbage. Imagine my complete astonishment when TROLL 2 became a “cult” film and is shown to sold-out audiences in theaters. It rules the internet with memes and youtube hits, mass fandom erupted and next thing you know people all over the world are elbowing their buddy next to them with every visit to that little town called “Nilbog”

The reality though, is a polished turd, is still a turd

Michael Stephenson, who portrayed little Joshua in TROLL 2, directed this documentary, he covers the production of the film, it's fan-base , and most crucially, revisits most of the major players involved in the making of the movie. The main focus is on George Hardy, who played Michael's father, we see him as a very affable man, loved by his community, and actually making a decent living for himself as a dentist. The rest of the actors are profiled and interviewed on their own respective experiences, but for the bulk of the documentary we follow Mr. Hardy as he relishes and partakes in his new-found fame as the domineering father leery of his son pissing on hospitality

The fans of TROLL 2 are front and center as well, we see them participating in screenings, social gatherings, making costumes, getting tattoos, they're from all over the globe, all blessed by the bellyaching the movie creates in their stomachs. I am terribly divided, for I appreciate the positivity that is present with the way people laugh at this film, we could never have enough laughter, it really is the best medicine, and there is a collective base that loves coming together to celebrate that

On the other hand, I am also despondent with how willing people are to worship complete crap

While I do believe that TROLL 2's fame was born through good intentions, some of it was also formed out fratboy internet-fame jackassery, you know the kind, the same that made a god out of Chuck Norris when he's barely a notch above Michael Dudikoff. I don't want to come across as a sourpuss, I love to laugh at terrible movies myself, I've done that with MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE to MAC & ME and had an uproarious time doing so, but I never wanted to form a fan club or stitch my own MANOS poncho

What I'm getting at, is that it's nice to see that level of devotion, but not when it's aimed in the wrong direction, especially when people like John Landis and John Carpenter can't find a pot to piss in nowadays. Anybody ever heard of THE WARD? It's Carpenter's last film, in all likelihood there's more people who have favorited “OH MY GAAAAHD” than know that film exists

But anyways, thankfully BEST WORST MOVIE doesn't showcase those kind of fans and only show the kind that finally brought a meaningful legitimacy to those affected most by TROLL 2: the cast. The cast of TROLL 2 are shown bewildered by how much they are loved and greeted with praise, every handshake and autograph request atoning for every bad memory of having 'been a part of that past job best left forgotten

Every actor gives some level of insight into the making of the film, as well as the ramifications of having 'been a part of it. Director Claudio Fragasso is also present so he can contradict his cast in public and call them “dogs”. Fragasso is sort of a pompous egg, completely clueless to the nature of his film's reputation, and not a likeable guy in my eyes. The cast is not the only one that feels the brunt, in a Q&A he shuts a fan down as knowing “nothing”, the crowd could only politely laugh at how dismissive he was, I'm sure if they could take back the standing ovation they would. If you're going to be a dick to people that love your work when it really doesn't deserve it in the first place, then keep your ass home in Italy Claudio

At one point we follow George Hardy as he tries to follow up on his TROLL 2 popularity by making convention appearances. As a convention veteran, I've seen and met many genre luminaries that cons offer, it can be quite exciting, it can also be depressing. For every Robert Englund and Bruce Campbell there's also the under-worked, the forgotten, the not-so-liked that sit at tables hoping and praying that someone will show any interest in an 8x10 and have them flex those motionless fingers for an autograph

George Hardy attends a convention in the UK and gets a vicious slap of reality when he is pretty much invisible to everyone, another appearance at a Horror con here in the US the slap stings even more as he is not only once again craving someone to notice him but he is forced to proclaim out loud the great distinction between himself and Horror fans. George Hardy is but a guest in our own wonderful twisted world, It's no place for him, it turns him off, the blood and guts, the monsters, the horrible dental hygiene that surely made for a very heavy aroma caused by bad breath that only a dentist could detect

He should be used to the stench, I mean he was in TROLL 2

THE GOOD

.George Hardy – The perfect candidate to follow on this documentary, he's likeable, a pretty nice guy and he can treat your cavities

.The cast is finally rewarded – It's good to see them getting actual payoff, even if it's just a bit here and there that flattery must be worth more than gold to them

.This is the pinnacle of TROLL 2's fame – Documentary's 'been made, there's nowhere else to go, a “sequel” is hinted at but for the love of fuck let it all end here, let's move on to better movies please

THE BAD

.Claudio – It was commendable how in-depth this documentary was and for that purpose the director had to be featured, but I could have done without him

.Compares with Humphrey Bogart and Katherine Hepburn? - …... ...

THE FINAL CURTAIN

Decent documentary that represents how far something can go even if it has very little to offer, and how it can still be cherished. If you're unfamiliar with TROLL 2 it's trivial to watch, unless you are and you're curious to see the film's captivation with fans

RATING 6