CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON (1954)

 

PLOT

Human invaders sail through the Gill-man's waters, where he reigns with a scaly fist, he takes a liking to the lone female and takes initiative to claim her as his own

REVIEW

Universal studios, the movie studio built by monsters

Horror as we know it would not be the same without it, the most iconic figures and ultimate portrayals of the classic movie monsters spawned from the Universal backlot, utter the names Dracula and Frankenstein and you are instantly thrust with the images of Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff. It was their brilliant performances along with those others such as Lon Chaney, his chip off the old block Lon Chaney Jr., makeup artist Jack Pierce, directors Todd Browning, James Whale, and others that made the golden age of horror possible

The Universal monsters are the avatars of our beautiful frightful genre, the consummate movie monsters. I have loved them from the time I was a kid, the dark allure of Dracula, the bestial ferocity of the Wolfman, the imposing modern prometheus Frankenstein's monster, the ancient wraith the Mummy, to choose a favorite would be like choosing which finger you want chopped off, you don't want to decide, you want all of them

While I love them all dearly there is always one that extends it's creepy hand out to you more than the others, for me, that hand is clawed, green, and webbed

CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON was directed by Jack Arnold who directed other Horror/Sci-fi gems as TARANTULA and IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE, and originally released in 3-D. After discovering a fascinating fossil with both human and fish-like traits, an expedition is organized into the amazon to further study the strange anomaly. The team includes Dr. Carl Maia, Dr. David Reed, asshole Dr. Mark Williams, and David's beautiful girlfriend Kay, who upon gazing at her beauty the creature ultimately becomes smitten by her

While most of the Universal monsters are culled from literature or popular folklore, The creature from the black lagoon has the distinction of being an original creation, the brainchild of producer William Allan, and ingeniously designed by Millicent Patrick, along with Bud Westmore who would pull a Bob Kane and go on to claim total credit of the creature's creation 

The creature's origin is not too far-fetched, he is not a creation of science, or the supernatural, he is an undiscovered animal, native to earth, in a planet so big that it is host to an infinite amount of animalia, ranging to some long-gone and many that are yet to be discovered. Flying reptiles, egg-laying mammals, poisonous birds, even creatures long thought extinct re-discovered alive have all popped their heads from obscurity and into the world of science, who's to say there might not be an anthromorphic fish-man canoodling in some body of water somewhere (?). In our real-life world we have a storied history of legends such as Bigfoot, the Loch ness monster, Chupacabras, the Jersey devil, Mothman, the creature would have fit right along with them, complete with double-page spreads courtesy of the weekly world news

THE GOOD

.The Gill-man - By far one of the most beautiful monsters ever put to film, comparing him to most other movie monsters at the time one can see he is in a league of his own. An astute monster, observant and vigilant, able to set traps, capable of infatuation, much more than simply stomping his feet with his hands extended. Malevolence is not what drives him to kill, he is not an evil monster, the only reason he ever kills is because someone invaded his turf and saw him as a trophy or subject of experimentation

.The Creature's actors - The creature was played by two men, Ben Chapman on land, and by Ricou Browning for the underwater sequences, which are astounding, swimming uncannily graceful through the water, creating very convincing behavior in his movements that make it feel like the creature is real and not a guy in a suit

.The Creature suit - The suit is great too, aside from it's design it's construction was excellent, not a zipper in sight, and impressive in it's mechanics, when the Gill-man breathes you can notice his gills flap back with every breath which is pretty damn impressive

THE BAD

.Nothing, it's a masterpiece

THE FINAL CURTAIN

Flawless and classic as expected from Universal horror, exemplary monster movie, greatest looking monster Universal ever produced

THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON was followed by REVENGE OF THE CREATURE and THE CREATURE WALKS AMONG US, strangely though, unlike the other Universal monsters he never made another appearance on film, although he was featured on THE MUNSTERS as uncle Gilbert (ha). A twinkie-stealing variation appeared on THE MONSTER SQUAD, Italy's L'ISOLA DEGLI UOMINI PESCE (Island of the fishmen) also has a wee bit of Gill-man thrown in, and there was to be a Gill-man in VAN HELSING before being cut from the film

The creature has always remained popular, consistently featured with the rest of the Universal monsters in whatever form they're featured from Pepsi promotions to bobble-heads. The remake-machine has eyed the creature off and on throughout the years, nothing has ever panned out, not even from Universal which is not surprising considering they have long neglected to respect what put them on the map (that topic will be elaborated on in a future entry), the way things are it would end up like THE WOLFMAN (2010) and set to fail by being dumped in a February release date. If you need any more proof, look no further than Universal studios Hollywood putting out a musical attraction (?!) that has since thankfully closed

A rock show...sweet ethel mertz

Keep it at three movies, leave him untarnished, in peace, in his home of blackened waters    

RATING 10

 

 

HORROR VIDEO MIX VOL.1

CITIZEN TOXIE: THE TOXIC AVENGER PART IV (2000)

PLOT
Tromaville's very own superhero of superhuman size and strength is back in what is sure to be one of the greatest films of all time

REVIEW
It's 2002, the Landmark Nuart theater on Santa Monica Blvd., I'm attending a screening for the third sequel to one of my favorite movies THE TOXIC AVENGER. I had waited long to see it, having caught glimpses of production photos on the Troma website, now finally I had my chance, and director Lloyd Kaufman, along with Toxie himself and Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D would be in attendance

A preceding Q&A was all in good fun, Lloyd Kaufman took questions from the audience, sounding off on numerous topics such as methods of killing people on screen, the evil corporate Hollywood media conglomerates, and the then upcoming Troma film that became the horrible train-wreck TALES FROM THE CRAPPER. Count Smokula endeared us with blazing accordion licks and songs about Toxie and Kabukiman, and after the Q&A was done, the theater went black, the projector began shining tromagic on the screen and off we were into the land of Tromaville

The movie starts with the voice of narrator Stan "The Man" Lee, and a "special" school during "Take a Mexican to lunch day" being overrun by the "Diaper mafia", taking the retar-Imean"special" students hostage, leaving it to the Toxic Avenger and his trusty sidekick Lardass to save the day. The outcome of the ordeal does not prove totally victorious as a seismic blast from Lardass's ass causes Toxie to switch places with his evil alternate reality equivalent The Noxious Offender, and sets him loose on Tromaville, where he gives the witnessing crowd a savage hello via torn limbs and brutal disembowelings. Meanwhile, Toxie is stuck in "Amortville" with two special students from the school, Tito and Sweetie Honey, where the city is run by evil versions of the heroes of Tromaville

Everything you would expect from a Troma movie is here: Graphic violence, Tits (big ones), Ass, Sex, Lesbians, Gore, and much more delectable tromatic content, one common staple is surprisingly missing though (for the most part), shitty acting

A lot of the actors in this are actually pretty good, Lisa Terezakis (Sweetie Honey), Tito (Michael Budinger), Heidi Sjursen who, while not the hottest Sarah in the series (That would be Phoebe Legere), still gives her character a bit more than simply being Toxie's girlfriend. Joe Fleishaker (Lardass/Chester) gives his more notable performance in a Troma film since being eaten by an escalator on TERROR FIRMER, expanding (some would say like his waist line) from a mere "fat fuck" comic relief role to a pivotal lead character

As soon as the movie was over that fateful night I was overcome with glee, happy that the movie had delivered and then some, it was more than the third Toxie sequel, it was Troma's magnum opus

THE GOOD

.Awesome cast
.Awesome script

. Toxie - David Mattey is to date the best, tallest, and better-acting of all the Toxies, Troma got lucky when his big frame entered their Hell's Kitchen HQ to audition. What worked in his favor was that he was/is a legitimate actor, and brought that legitimacy to his role, although it seems that may also be the reason we may never see David Mattey as Toxie ever again. It would appear from behind-the-scenes footage that Dave Mattey did not take kindly to Lloyd Kaufman's directorial tyranny, seeing as how Troma is far from a typical production he didn't seem to gel with the unconventional method, in one case he came very close to getting replaced after trying to pull his weight around by showing up late to the set to try and stick it to Lloyd, which only proved mortifying as it showed that even he was expandable

.Kabukiman -  Paul Kyrmse as Kabukiman was just as important to the movie as Dave Mattey playing Toxie, he went from playing Kabukiman at conventions to delivering one of the greatest and funniest performances in all of Troma history. Dave Mattey summed it up best when he called Kyrmse the "Bobba fett of the movie", it's insanely fun to see him drunk on his ass, try to lead the Tromaville heroes, or kicking Toxie's ass as the evil Kabukiman, he made his mark on the movie with gusto

.There are several great cameos - Troma alumni such as original Toxie  Mitch Cohen, original Melvin Mark Torgl, Dan Snow, Tiffany Shepis, to porn hedgehog Ron Jeremy, Al Goldstein (SCREW Magazine), comedians the Sklar Brothers, Kinky Finkelstein more commonly known as Corey Feldman, Hank the angry drunken dwarf from The Howard Stern Show (RIP), James Gunn (SLITHER, writer of DAWN OF THE DEAD 2004 and TROMEO & JULIET among others), and God himself Lemmy Kilmister from Motorhead, dont squint and you'll see the Bear Jew Eli Roth (CABIN FEVER, HOSTEL) right behind him in the crowd

THE BAD
 . Hugh Hefner's people for cutting his cameo from the film

THE FINAL CURTAIN
Safe to say, this is one of, if not, the greatest Troma movie ever made, all the right elements were there along with the awesome script by Lloyd, Trent Haaga, Patrick Cassidy, Gabriel Friedman, &co. The Tromatic magnum opus, the comedy-horror piece de resistance, deserving of preservation at the National Registry, if NASA ever launches another Golden record into space and would include films this would be the representative Troma film, although maybe extraterrestrials would be convinced to eliminate us based on bad taste

CITIZEN TOXIE is available on Netflix instant streaming, but you'd be doing yourself a giant favor by avoiding the R-rated version and watch it completely uncensored like it's meant to be. The 2-disc collector's edition is the definitive release, as the second disc contains APOCALYPSE SOON, the behind-the-scenes documentary on the making of CITIZEN TOXIE. From the planning stages and auditions, to the final shot filmed, it's all there, warts and all. There's no shortage of tension, setbacks, accidents, malfunctions, and many other calamities that plagued production. Watching it you wonder how they ever got the movie made, what with all the fuck-ups and unreliable work force that would make Lloyd Kaufman pop some cranial veins on camera

It's an invaluable asset for anyone considering dabbling in film-making, behind every movie is a humongous workload that must be done and at times it can be excruciating to endure, APOCALYPSE SOON hits that point extremely well, and most importantly, shows that you can do the work and deliver on your terms, which is one of Troma's most commendable qualities, along with championing independent cinema and up-and-coming filmmakers for longer than anyone else

Even cooler is their message that you can do it too, and if you're lucky they may even distribute your film for you, just ask Trey Parker & Matt Stone (South Park)

The greatest movie of all time? CITIZEN TOXIE: THE TOXIC AVENGER PART IV

Blood, Guts, Lemmy, the Playboy mansion, Lesbians, a cock monster, Stan Lee, explosive farts, all in the same movie? Plus not one filthy Hollywood taint-spot anywhere?

Place this in the louvre please

RATING 10

CHILD'S PLAY - TOM HOLLAND AUDIO COMMENTARY

2008 saw the release of the 20th anniversary edition of CHILD'S PLAY, a fantastic dvd which featured many awesome extras like behind the scenes footage, a convention panel Q&A with the cast, and multiple commentaries including one with Chucky himself. Despite the impressive supplementary material there was one important person missing: Director Tom Holland, who for reasons unknown was never asked to participate in the release

But thanks to http://www.iconsoffright.com/, Tom Holland was able to sit down with Tim Sullivan (2001 MANIACS) to record his own audio commentary for the film and made it available for free a mere week after the release of the dvd

Link:

http://www.iconsoffright.com/childsplay/CHILDSPLAY_Holland_commentary.mp3

It's great to hear Mr.Holland's memories regarding the film,  it's a shame his presence wasn't requested but big kudos to Icons of fright for making this happen, I felt it would be great to feature it here and give the guy his due

DOLLY DEAREST (1992)

PLOT

A family moves to Mexico, where the father Elliot will oversee a doll factory, housed nearby an archaeological venture that inadvertently frees ancient mayan demons out into the land of the living, which make their way to the nearby doll factory and claim the dolls as hosts to their evil spirits

REVIEW
DOLLY DEAREST is one of those movies that you would pick out at the ma and pa video place mostly for shits and giggles. The type of movie that you could tell from the onset you wont be guaranteed entertainment but hope to at least pass the time laughing at how bad it is

Let's get it out of the way, yes it is very obvious this flick was spawned from the success of Chucky and the CHILD'S PLAY series, but while that movie had quite a lot going for it that made it a cult classic, DOLLY DEAREST is so empty conceptually it's ridiculous

Elliot's little daughter Jessica nabs a Dolly for herself, and gradually becomes trapped by it's evil influence, much to the chagrin of the family in particular Marilyn played by Denise Crosby (STAR TREK TNG, PET SEMATARY). Now, traditionally demons do have a hankering for possession, usually choosing hosts that can move freely, walk, blend in with society, able to use tools and that are not two feet tall, you know, people. When Charles Lee Ray transferred his soul into the good guy doll, he was shot, bleeding and near death, and had no other course but to go with the closest thing available, in DOLLY DEAREST the demons are set free and while having a short but plentiful supply of nearby humans to invade, they choose the dolls...

A long way from pazuzu, these retarded demons are

On that note despite all the dolls being possessed only one likes to get it's tiny hands dirty, the others do jack-shit until the end of the movie (I usually shy away from spoilers but if anything I’m doing you a favor)

Speaking of the doll, special effects can make or break a film that depends on them as much as a killer doll movie, may even serve to be a saving grace, where you could at least appreciate some technical mastery and have something neat to look at, after all film is a visual medium, and the Horror genre is absolutely ripe with the use of effective imagery. The effects here are barely almost-decent, I wasn't expecting an animatronic tour de force where the doll would do cartwheels and break-dance but at least try and make the doll not look stiff

THE GOOD
.I like the end-credits music, that's really it, not entirely sure if it's because the music itself is great or because it represents the end of the film

THE BAD
.Everything

THE FINAL CURTAIN

I remember as a kid at the San Diego Comic-con rabidly going through a box of discounted Fangorias and finding issue # 102, which has DOLLY DEAREST on the cover. I bought it, and upon reading the article I was aghast at director Maria Lease completely bad-mouthing the very movie she ripped off, like that would make people forget that CHILDS PLAY is 1000 times the movie DOLLY DEAREST isn't, not only was it dumb it was especially pathetic as she came nowhere close to backing up her shit

As far as killer doll movies, this scrapes the bottom of the barrel, this is the cheap shitty copy The Asylum (Transmorphers, Snakes on a train) would have released if they were around when CHILDS PLAY came out. Is it scary? It's as scary as stepping on a dirty gym sock, and as impressive to look at as watching a donkey fanning flies with it's tail. If you are a bad movie connoisseur (God knows why but they exist) It might get a reaction out of you, but as far as the old “so bad it's good” analogy applying here, it's slim to none

As you can probably deduce, I loathe this movie, I got a review for my site as a reward for watching it but 99.9% of the rest of the human population will get absolutely nothing but 90 mins of wasted time very horribly wasted. I kind of see it as a service to post a review for a movie this bad, it gives fair warning that glancing at it momentarily would give the impression of it being a cheap morsel of fun, but it's just that

cheap

It's on par with watching paint dry

RATING 0

*Available on Netflix instant streaming (If you must)

THE NEW YORK RIPPER (1982)

PLOT

The city so good they named it twice has a duck-quacking psycho killer on the loose

REVIEW

“He used a blade, he stuck it up her joy trail, and slit her wide open”

Lucio Fulci is the man

THE BEYOND, CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD (aka THE GATES OF HELL), HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY, ZOMBI 2 known to many of us as simply ZOMBIE, if you're a horror fan I need not say more, all stupendous gory examples of classic Italian horror that established Fulci in the company of other great Italian horror directors such as Dario Argento and Mario Bava. While I love his work one title from his filmography that always escaped me was THE NEW YORK RIPPER, it was always on my list of “must watch” films and seeing as how I'm currently on a big Italian horror fix I finally caved in and put on Lo squartatore di New York

THE NEW YORK RIPPER wastes no time and is quickly set in motion, 10 mins into the movie the Ripper's first kill is committed in all it's tit-stabbing glory. The backdrop to all the carnage is the wonderful big apple circa 1982, where our main protagonist police Lt. Fred Williams is on the hunt for the sanguinary sadist. The ripper is never actually seen on screen, thus the real identity is shrouded in mystery, although we get our first suspect in a mysterious man missing two fingers who hits the streets for porno shops and adult movie theaters offering the most sextacular sexciting and sexational live xxx shows on their marquee. But is he the New york ripper? ..?? ?...?

Regardless one thing is certain, the ripper is crazier than a shit-house rat, pussy-impaling helpless girls all the while duck-quacking and taunting the police with conceited glee. There's no hockey mask, no fashionable attire, no funny banter, even his killing implements are beyond simplicity, the one thing that defines the NY ripper is pure bat-shit insanity. It's a trait shared with other human movie killers like Leatherface and Norman Bates, driven by psychosis and an eccentric murderous desire that needs to be filled, in this case, killing beautiful spry women

The ripper likes to work messy too

Nothing near the eye-poking of ZOMBIE or head-explosion of THE BEYOND, but the red indeed flows in formidable amount, that and the T&A, lotsa nudity, sexual situations, including what must be one of the only instances of a foot-job displayed on film outside of porn. Who knows what compelled Fulci and co. to believe that what the movie needed was a dude taking his moccasin off and going to town on a girl under a table with his bunion but what the hell. The movie is amusing in that way, playing mostly on exploitation whether sexual or homicidal, now does that work enough to make a good film? To some degree

THE GOOD

.Good gore

.Not seeing the killer on screen is effective

THE BAD

. The soundtrack is quite disappointing, Fulci's horror films typically have great music but this one is really sub-par

THE FINAL CURTAIN

I was not disappointed, although I considered it a lesser film compared to other Fulci films I still enjoyed it, although not as much. Certainly not a bad film, actually very decent, but not without it's faults, although any other grievances are somewhat minor and I resist discussing them as they would reveal too much, also they're not worth analyzing when you stack them up against the rest of the film, which is damn good

I would deem this an adequate film, there really isn’t much of a payoff, there is, but I’ll admit not that much, but sometimes there doesn’t have to be, sometimes you just want good ole meat and potatoes heavy on the sauce

It's worth a look, if possible via blu-ray

http://www.amazon.com/New-York-Ripper-Blu-ray/dp/B002E01MI8/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1313838658&sr=8-10

RATING 7

FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM (1987)

PLOT
The town Oldfield has an eerie past as related through four tales of it's dark history

REVIEW
"Welcome to Oldfield...."

FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM begins with a prison execution set in the town of Oldfield, Tennessee, where we meet reporter Beth Chandler among the attendees witnessing a doomed inmate receive her final sentence. Afterwards the reporter pays a visit to town librarian and uncle to the recently deceased, Julian white, played by none other than one of our biggest legends in horror, Mr.Vincent price. As it turns out Oldfield has a rather sinister history to it, as made evident by the four macabre historic Oldfield tales he shares with the reporter:

.Stanley Burnside: Old, Silver white hair, coke bottle glasses, depraved, chock-full of perversion and a severe fixation on a girl named Grace, he eventually receives his comeuppance for taking his obsession to the extreme

.A wounded man is found and cared for by a lonely shack-living good Samaritan, who seems to display signs of immortality, the man's greed and selfish nature overtake him as he sets out to learn the secret for himself

.Carnival glass-eater Steven is at the mercy of his tyrannical boss, her voodoo incantations, and his love for one of his spectators

.Civil-war era tale of adorable cherub-faced kids and their sanguinary hijinks

In Horror cinema, A favorite sub-genre of mine is the anthology film: Trilogy of terror, Creepshow, Tales from the crypt(1972), Nightmares, Cat's eye, 3 Extremes, Twilight zone: the movie, Black sabbath, Tales from the darkside: the movie, Trick 'r treat, Two evil eyes, Body bags, (most of which will eventually receive their own reviews in the not too distant future) are great examples of how you can cram multiple stories and different concepts within one creative effort and make it work

FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM is another fine example, and serves the format quite well, the film is nothing near ambitious and at their core the stories are quite simple, but they are effective. If anything that simplicity is what I value most out of this film, it never sets out to out-gross, preach, educate, or serve any other purpose other than to tell gruesome tales, and these are quite gruesome. Much like the classic EC Comics "just desserts" most of the offenders get what they deserve in true horror fashion

THE GOOD
.There are several instances of great gore, although nothing on the creature front except for one brief but hilariously awesome exception, which to me is a highlight of the film as it initially took me by surprise, I only wish they would have ran along with that twist a lot more, it seemed notable enough that they based the film's original "official" title on it (THE OFFSPRING)

.VINCENT PRICE - While his presence is reduced to the wrap-around story it is no less what you'd expect from a horror legend, even with the simple role that he was given he dominates the film by just being Vincent fucking Price. A common footnote about this movie is Vincent Price's thoughts regarding the film, which were not favorable, calling it "terrible", it's a shame, but at the very least he was no less brilliant than before in roles past, in what turned out to be one of the last movies of his career

.The kids in the 4th story - It's always impressive to see little kids act well and especially when the job entails being villainous as well as, in this case, deal with some pretty morbid shit, they made playing "Pin the severed arm on the dead body" look natural

THE BAD
. Having only one director - This film is directed by Jeff Burr, who has overseen other Horror cuts such as LEATHERFACE: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III, PUPPETMASTER's 4&5, and the truly abysmal PUMPKINHEAD II: BLOOD WINGS. In films such as these I consider it best when multiple directors work on the individual stories, giving each tale it's own flair. I feel in this case it would have definitely improved the film, the director did the best he could but perhaps a nice solid directing team would have catapulted the movie even further

THE FINAL CURTAIN
In short, FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM is a solid entertaining horror movie, a hidden gem among the pile of bodywork from the great era of 1980's Horror cinema, certainly worth a watch, and if you enjoy necrophilia, voodoo, blood and psychopathy in your horror movies, you wont be disappointed

RATING 6.5

*Available on NETFLIX instant streaming

WELCOME TO THE DUNGEON

I created this blog to share my love for the horror genre,  I will scan through the darkest pits of horror cinema and pull from a wide spectrum of choice cuts, reviewing everything from classic b&w to gore splatter-fests to foreign, monster movies, slasher, zombie, and more 



I hope you enjoy my reviews, there will be many more posted periodically as well as other content, so keep an eye out-CZR